Family & Church 2

Mission

         Monthly

Integrating the family

A while ago, there was something of an explosion in work among teenagers. There has been a rapid development of parachurch organisations working among young people, and more and more churches appointing ‘youth ministers’. But in the church as a whole, the teenager is becoming an ‘endangered species’. Already the world’s focus is switching to children and this trend is likely to continue in the foreseeable future. I believe we have the best chance since Robert Raikes brought learning to read and write into a Christian context, to influence society through our work with children.

In order to grasp this opportunity however, we are going to have to start thinking family. In many churches today the most meetings revolve around children alone. Some churches have even emphasised children’s work to the exclusion of meaningful work among adults. Treating a child as if it was totally detached from ‘family’ influences is a recipe for failure.

Involving parents

Any teaching by the church, of children from Christian homes, should be on the understanding that their parents are ultimately responsible for the children’s Christian education. The couple of hours a week that the church may put in (compared with all the time spent at school and home), is best spent reinforcing the parents’ efforts. Consultation and co-operation between church and parents are therefore vital.

Children from homes where there is no open expression of faith are also their parents’ responsibility. This means that a relationship with these parents is also vital. As a general rule, the traditional Sunday School has failed to win these children to Christ or draw their parents to Him. It could even be said that it has, in some cases, had a negative effect.

So Christian education for children must think in terms of ‘family’. Whatever kind of family the children come from, the family must be involved as fully as possible. Schools are increasingly using parents in various aspects of school life. The church must not lag behind!

In practical terms, a number of different models are being used in churches today for integrating children into the life of the church, and for involving their parents or guardians. If your church currently operates a ‘Sunday School’ system, you could involve the parents in the following ways:

• Arrange parents’ evenings to discuss future curriculum, style and approach to teaching, and also to give each class teacher a chance to show the work the children are doing.

• Present end of term ‘reports’ on each child.

• Encourage children to sit with their parents during church.

• Provide ‘homework’ from time to time. Other churches have moved away from the ‘school’ approach and try to create more of a family feel in the way children are taught and involved in the life of the church.

All these ideas should be supported by teaching which is thoroughly biblical, very visual, and clearly applied. It should be taught in a context where a genuine ‘spirituality’ is encouraged. Worship, prayer, even spiritual gifts, can all be part of a child’s experience. They must not be coerced into anything, but opportunities need to be found for children to enjoy God and minister to others, at their own level.

It’s also helpful to have men as well as women leading in children’s work. Those involved need to have real spiritual maturity. Children’s work is no place to dump fourteen-year-olds who might otherwise leave the church, or inadequate individuals who find children ‘sweet’. It is a vital ministry that lays the foundation of a person’s view of God and of their relationship to him.

Reaching non-Christian and uncommitted parents

We need to make particular efforts to reach the parents of the children in the church. The chances of our achieving anything lasting, spiritually, in these children are increased a thousand-fold if their parents also begin to be involved with the church and come to faith in Christ. So it is important that we have strategies for reaching them. We could:

• Appoint someone gifted in evangelism to be linked with the children’s work.

• Go for quality not quantity. It’s better to have meaningful contact with a few uncommitted parents than to be ‘baby-minding’ dozens of kids so that parents can have a peaceful Sunday morning at home.

• Involve parents in ‘project work’. If the children are raising money for an orphanage, draw on parental support. They are much more likely to be drawn to faith if they feel they are making a valuable contribution to something and meeting Christians in a social context.

• Link each children’s worker with a prayer partner in the church. This does, of course, need to be done discreetly and confidentially.

All in all, our meetings for children need the same kind of serious attention all our other meetings warrant.

(first published in The Baptist Times January 2011)